The 40 Best Fortune Cookie Sayings That Will Leave You Bemused, Befuddled, or Beguiled

The best fortune cookie sayings have the potential to make one think deeply, laugh, smile, or scratch their head in confusion; all elements of which make them a legendary part of eating at a Chinese-food restaurant. You have doubtless cracked open an amazing fortune once or twice in your life, but you have no idea what odd wisdom lives inside some of the millions of other cookies produced and sayings to accompany them. In compiling our list of the 40 best fortune cookie sayings, we wanted all kinds of messages to be represented: bizarre, promising, sad, mean, inspirational, apocalyptic, creepy, funny and (my personal favorite) self-referential.

The origin of these receptacles of prophecies, enlightenment, advice and lucky numbers is somewhat unclear. They are served as a Chinese dessert, and though supposedly made of traditional Japanese crackers, various Californians claim to have invented them. All in all, fortune cookies themselves are as baffling as the words they treasure inside. Confusing as they are, we surely do love them and the mysteries they entail. But if you’re looking for some more down-to-earth quotes to get inspired, you should check out our list of The 20 Most Inspirational Warren Buffett Quotes on Business, Investing and Life.

Best Fortune Cookie Sayings

Approximately 3 billion fortune cookies are manufactured every year around the world, for it’s not only Americans who adore the vanilla fortune tellers. As with many other traditions, there are some superstitions you should be familiar with when enjoying the auguries fortune cookies unveil:  they must be eaten for the fortune to come true, you must read such fortunes before eating the cookie (read it aloud, preferably) and you must choose the cookie with your eyes closed.

I’m sure you’re eager to find out which are the absolute best fortune cookie sayings, so let’s take a look at the list, beginning with numbers 40 through 31.

40. You will find a bushel of money

39. Your smile will tell you what makes you feel good.

38. Don’t panic

37. The best year-round temperature is a warm heart and a cool head

36. It could be better, but it’s good enough.

35. You will find a thing. It may be important

34. Your reality check about to bounce.

33. Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

32. When chosen for jury duty, tell judge fortune cookie say “guilty!”

31. Stop eating now. Food poisoning no fun.

The strange cookies with their humorous, sometimes prophetic, sometimes bizarre sayings continues on the next page with numbers 30 to 21 of the best fortune cookie sayings.

30. You are cleverly disguised as responsible adult.

29. Drive like hell, you will get there.

28. Person who eat fortune cookie get lousy dessert.

27. Okay to look at past and future. Just don’t stare.

26. Soup was secret family recipe made from toad. Hope you liked!

25. You will soon have an out of money experience.

24. He who dies with most toys, still dies.

23. Person who rests on laurels gets thorn in backside.

22. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

21. Life is a sexually transmitted condition.

20. Give person fish, he eat for day. Teach person to fish, he always smell funny.

19. Person who argues with idiot is taken for fool.

18. Look before you leap. Or wear a parachute.

17. The end is near, might as well have dessert.

16. This fortune no good. Try another.

15. Wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.

14. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life

13. Run

12. Make love, not bugs

11. You will read this and say “Geez! I could come up with better fortunes than that!”

10. I cannot help you, for I’m just a cookie

9. The fortune you seek, is in another cookie

8. Don’t eat any Chinese food today or you’ll be sick!

7 About time I got out of that cookie!

6. Come back later….I’m sleeping (yes, cookies need their sleep too)

5. You will be hungry again in one hour

4. You will die alone and poorly dressed

3. Warning: do not eat your fortune

2. If you can read this, you are literate. Congratulations

1. Made in the USA