15 Best House Names in the World

You might have never thought about it, but there are two ways to get in the 15 best house names in the world: intentionally and unintentionally. Of course, in this case, I’m using “best” as a euphemism for “most ridiculous and bizarre”, and believe me, people can get VERY creative when it comes to naming their houses. You never know what people can come up with, so keep reading and have a laugh!

The most popular method for naming houses is to use a pun, some of them are tired and spent, but others reflect a great deal of originality. Although most seem to refer to the house itself and its surroundings, to me the most interesting thing is what they tell us about the owner/s.

When it comes to beach or frat houses, puns can almost always be expected to involve either “the sea”, “booze”, or “beeches” (which is a horrible word, and also the name of a plant; go read a book). Some even cover all three at the same time. I must admit that most beach house names are not very creative (I swear if I read any more beach house names involving the word “Sea” I will voluntarily walk into the ocean and drown), BUT a few have turned out to be notoriously on point. Frat houses also have their quote of creativeness, and although the vast majority of the puns are pretty obvious, there are a bunch of exceptions that help me keep the faith in our youth.

Private house owners seem to like puns as well. However, this differs from the previous examples in that the owner can name it whatever he or she pleases without the need to agree with anyone, so the world of possibilities is endless. Although some look like they could be directly pocketed from our 43 Good Names for International Investment Companies, others show a true commitment to the cause, and a few are just accidentally weird. I bet by now you’re dying to know what these names are, so let’s take a look at the list of best house names in the world!

15. Under The Broccoli Tree

It’s a no-go, for me, but it definitely belongs in the best house names in the world. I don’t know what it was that drew the owner to name the house this way, but it sure raises a lot of questions, beginning with the fact that broccoli does not grow on trees, but sprouts from the ground, so this is some transgenic crap they got going on in there. Secondly, if there were actually a broccoli tree, I imagine the place would constantly smell of freshly boiled broccoli, and nobody wants that.

14. My Aunt That Lives In The Middle Of Nowhere

This very detailed name could easily belong to your Google Maps favorites, which must certainly prove useful to the nephew. Still, although it might be easy to remember, if you found yourself in need of directions it may turn out to be pretty confusing. Asking a stranger “Do you know where My Aunt That Lives in the Middle of Nowhere is?”, can only have as a possible outcome: turning into a Three Stooges-like conversation, and then pie will just start flying around because that’s what always happens.

13. FantaSea

Is this the real life? Is this just Fanta Sea?  Freddy Mercury would be so proud of this, although I’m not sure the owner is fully aware of the gag. Nevertheless, the sea made of Fanta joke is not bad; for one, I would totally swim in a Fanta sea, it sounds like a complete Fanta-sea, see? I’m sorry, once you’ve started with the sea puns it’s hard to stop. Don’t try it, you’ll be doomed. And now, let’s see what else we have on our list of best house names in the world.

12. Our X-TA-SEA

Very subtle; these guys won’t even bother hiding what they like to do on holidays. Here is a list of things I can deduct from the owner/s just by looking at the name: they’re young, they like drugs, they play loud music, they’re either really fun or extremely annoying, their parents pay for their healthcare, but mostly, they’re really going to regret naming their house that in ten years.

11. Green Peckers

I get the football-bird joke, but that is a very poor choice of words. I can’t speak for you, but I’m not getting anywhere near a place advertising green peckers. I mean, no pecker should ever be green, right? If it were, I would seriously recommend seeing a doctor, maybe someone specialized in gangrene. Yuck.

10. Legal Ease

Simple, ingenious, and political, I like it. Not only do I agree with the premise proposed by the owners, but I also bet many of the beach-loving neighbors do as well. Likewise, I imagine this sign makes it very easy for stoners to figure out where to buy their delights in the area, so if you know where this place is, don’t hesitate to contact me.

9. Fiddler on the Reef

This is one on our list of best house names in the world I would have never thought off, and I think it’s pretty good. However, it is imperative that the owner of this house is actually a fiddler, otherwise, it’s just false advertising. The sign shows a big crab in a coral reef playing a fiddle, which seriously makes me doubt the owner’s talents; unless he also owns a fiddle-playing crab, in which case he’s sitting on a goldmine.

8. Stone Beds

Well, that sounds uncomfortable! I don’t think I’ll be visiting any time soon, although I must admit it does have a poetic ring to it, very graveyard-ish. If only Edgar Allan Poe had lived to see this… Still, either this person is a complete hermit, or he/she is badly in need of some marketing lessons if they want to stop driving people away. I know they say it’s better to sleep on a hard surface, but this sounds a bit over the top.

7. Jason’s Cellar 

Seriously, Jason? The only way you could’ve chosen a creepier name is if you had titled it “Jason’s Locked Basement”, or “Jason’s S&M Dungeon”. Needless to point out the obvious correlation with the horror movie character Jason Voorhees, the brutal assassin from  “Friday the 13^th”. In view of all this, this unfortunate house runs in the competition not only for the best house names in the world but also the most reckless. Honestly, I don’t imagine Jason receives many visits.

6. Sea-Esta

In case you don’t know it, “siesta” in Spanish means “nap”, so it goes without saying that I absolutely concur with the owner’s ideals, I support our right to “siesta”. Furthermore, I like that it’s intercultural, by being in English and Spanish simultaneously, and It’s good marketing as well. Last but not least, there’s nothing more pleasurable than a good afternoon nap while listening to the ocean. It’s always sea-esta time somewhere!

5. Latitude Adjustment

Judging by the name, I’d say I know a lot of people that could use spending some time in this place, in every sense possible, so nice pun. I wouldn’t mind staying a couple of days there myself since the beach has always worked wonders on my attitude towards life. And even though I ignore the precise location of the house, it’s probably, as the name indicates, at a perfect latitude.

4. A Cardiac Rest

Now, that’s the way to use an anagram! It’s either that or some serious dyslexia. I’d like to think whoever bought this house heroically survived a heart attack and acquired a beach house in order to chill in. However, the combination might actually result a bit too chill, because the more I think about it, the more it starts to sound like an old people home, or worse, a cemetery. And now, let’s see the top three best house names in the world.

3. Your Mom’s

This one on our list of best house names in the world is obvious, but effective. I believe it would be hilarious to be allowed to say “I spent the night at Your Mom’s” and have it be true and not-gross at the same time. I don’t know about originality, though, because there seem to be several houses named like this, however, there’s also a great number of moms in the world, so I think it’s justified. I wouldn’t make any “your mom” jokes in there, though.

2. Monster Face Daycare

I had to read this one twice, because the words “monster”, “face”, and “daycare” should never be together, ever. I’d get something like “Little Monster Daycare”, it’s even kind of cute imagining all the little monsters running around the playground, eating squirrels and doing other little monster stuff. But “Monster Face”? My mind is swamped with questions. Is only the face part that is a monster and the rest is human?, What do monster-faced babies eat?, and the worst of all: Where do monster-faced babies come from? That’s some seriously scary crap, how do I even explain it to my children? I’m leaving them where they are, thank you. And now, let’s see the number one in our list of best house names in the world.

1. DIDYABRINGYAGROGALONG

Instead of going for the mind-numbingly obvious “New Sea Land” pun, this person decided to show some real ingenuity by tackled not only Kiwi’s fondness for heavy drinking, but also their narrow and confusing pronunciation, all in one simple word. Whoever named this New Zealand based house definitely got the gist of their surroundings. Well done, yadrankbastard, you’ve made the 15 best house names in the world!