16 Good Believable Excuses for Missing Work

There are days in everyone’s life when having one of these 16 good believable excuses for missing work can be a godsend.

Ron Kline is a 71-year-old plumber from Ohio. For the last 50 years, he worked for the same company. In those 50 years, he has never missed a day of work. That is hard to believe even for people with strong work ethic. If you are like Ron, this article is wasted on you and you are probably a bit disgusted that it even exist. But if you are like the rest of us and occasionally you need to skip that Friday in order to enjoy a three-day weekend away from the office, keep reading.

People miss work for a large variety of reasons. Three-day weekends are just one of them. Sometimes you need a day off to meet with your friend who is in town for only one day. Saying that to your boss won’t earn you any brownie points, for sure. Perhaps you have a job interview and can’t really tell that to your boss. And maybe you just can’t be bothered with work today and you have decided that the best course of action is to stay in bed all day and watch cartoons. Or some kinky porn, whatever you prefer, we aren’t judging. Not many bosses on the planet will accept that as a valid excuse for not coming in today.

Regardless of the real reason for skipping work, you will need a good, believable excuse for it. Choosing the right one can be tricky and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You can’t just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. You have to know your boss and his or her reactions, as well as their personal situation to be able to invoke just the right excuse. Using a good excuse to miss work is just one part of the deal. Some of these excuses require preplanning, and establishing reasons for your excuse is a great way for you to both skip work and retain your credibility. That way you can do it again when the need arises. After all, everyone can invent some silly excuse to get out of work once, but only true masters can do it repeatedly and on a regular basis, while still keeping the boss’ trust. Finally, they must be used sparingly. If you use it every week, not even the best excuse will help you and your boss will know that you are lying to them. There are plenty of sites on the Internet offering them, but after looking at them, a vast majority are as believable as the old “dog ate my homework.” So, after a thorough examination, we settled on these 16 good believable excuses for missing work by using the following criteria:

1. No Death – Even with ignoring the fact that faking someone’s death just to skip work is really tasteless, there’s a whole business with karma we just didn’t want to get into.
2. No Child Sickness – Again, tasteless and karma provoking. Although there are few child-related excuses you can use (after all, what’s the point of having them if you aren’t going to use them, am I right?), illness isn’t one of them.
3. Believability – Good excuse must be believable. So, no aliens or freak accidents.
4. Relatability – Finally, your excuse is more likely to work if your boss can relate to it. More on that below.

With those out of the way, we can look at our selection of 16 good believable excuses for missing work. Some of them are on the list of the most overused excuses in the world, but that doesn’t mean they won’t work. In fact, the mere fact that they are so common adds to their believability. Look them over and choose the one that is best suited for your situation.

16. Jury Duty

Quick and dirty, jury duty should be used only in a pinch and if you are sure your boss won’t bothered with checking up on you since jury composition is a public record and can be easily obtained by a simple phone call. Only use it as a last resort, when you have to get out of work and nothing else is available.

15. Children

Plenty to choose from with children. The most used one among the good believable excuses for missing work is probably a call from the school. You can add a bit of a flavor by saying that the kid got into a fight or swear at a teacher (maybe even the principal). Admitting something like that will make your boss from any further inquiries. Sick kids will get you a lot of sympathies and not only your boss will let you go, but probably offer help as well, but we would recommend not using it as a fake excuse to skip work.

14. Lockout

You can lock yourself out from your apartment or your car, whatever is more convenient in your situation. This is the one you shouldn’t overuse, though. Once is funny, twice and you are a clumsy, third time you are an idiot. And nobody wants to employ idiots.

13. Female problems

Great one to use if you have a male boss. There’s something about female problems that terrifies men and your boss will be more than happy to give you a day off just to make you stop talking about them and, God forbid, share any details.

13. Blood donation

Nobody expects you to go to work after giving blood. Plus, you get to be a hero in the office. The number 13 on our list of good believable excuses for missing work is is good for once a year.

12. Religious holiday

This one requires some planning and ground work established before you can use it. It is hard to pull cousin’s Bar Mitzvah if you are wearing a cross around your neck. Also, try to use one of the major religions. Asking for a day off because it is a holiday in Jedi religion will hardly work.

11. Relatives

Relatives can be one of the good believable excuses for missing work, when used as an excuse for a wide variety of things, like “My cousin just got arrested and I have to go and find him a lawyer.” Maybe they need help moving and you just can’t turn them down.

10. Accident

It doesn’t have to be a big accident, like a highway pile up. Anything that warrants a trip to the ER will do, like burning yourself while making a morning coffee or cutting yourself with an open tuna can. Sometimes a home emergency, like a gas leak or faulty plumbing can also be used to a great effect.

9. IRS

IRS just called and they are going to audit you. Your boss will pretend he’s sympathetic while being happy that it isn’t happening to him. This one of 16 good believable excuses for missing work is good to keep in reserve for emergencies because it can’t be really used more than once, at least without drawing suspicion.

8. Traffic

Everyone can relate to this one. Although it could be awkward if your neighbor who works with you actually arrives there, while you are stuck in traffic. Traffic excuse can be used in combination with something else, like you had to spend the night at your friend’s and got stuck in traffic or got lost on your way to work.

7. Food poisoning

Both relatable and embarrassing, a great combination. Nobody wants to listen about your bowel movement problems.

6. Back pain

If you have a boss with a history of back pain, this one is a gold mine. Anyone who has suffered from a back pain can relate to that.

5. Dentist appointment

Nobody likes going to a dentist, and your boss will be sympathetic. Just remember to act like you’re in pain the next day and you’ll be fine.

4. Parents

“Oh, your parents just flew in unannounced and you have to go pick them up at the airport? What a great son/daughter you are. Sure, take the day off. Say hello to them.” Easy, especially if your boss has a difficult relationship with his/her parents.

3. Pets

No death, remember? So, no “my cat got ran over.” But taking it to the vet may work. Pets need vaccines or maybe your cat, the poor thing, ate a mouse that disagrees with her. If your boss is a fellow cat or a dog owner, they will understand.

2. Allergies

With so many people allergic to all kind of stuff, this one is easy to pull off. Just don’t change your allergies every time you use them as an excuse to get out of work. Having missed work for peanut allergy one week and munching a PBJ sandwich the next will expose you and completely destroy your credibility at work.

1. Spouse

Using a spouse as an excuse works far better with a wife than it does with a husband. If you have already established at your job that your wife is SWMBO (she who must be obeyed) that keeps sending you on various vitally important missions, like grocery shopping or toilet paper acquisition, she can be your best good believable excuses for missing work. Just don’t allow her and your boss getting together in a party because if they start talking, you’ll be in trouble on both fronts.