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A Hedge Fund Manager’s Bizarre, Lengthy Response to a Declined Second Date

I got this from a hedge fund manager/former law student I met through an online dating website after deflecting a second date and rejecting him via email. He sent the email back within an hour of my rejection, which made me wonder if he had a form email on hand to send to women who rejected him. Oh, I never mentioned his attractiveness, much less that he was a toad!


I will be sure to add you to the list of people who, after receiving an invitation to a second date, require extra time to write back (my internet was down! work was crazy! family business!), and then proceed to inform me of how great I am before insinuating that I have the attractiveness of a toad. I implore you, for the sake of whomever else you might do this to in the future, to simply be honest. It’s frustrating and, quite frankly, far more annoying to have rejection sugar-coated in any way. If you don’t find someone attractive, just tell them that. I realize that many people avoid doing so as they don’t want to “make anyone feel bad”, but clearly, even a moment’s consideration of that excuse shows that the only person you’re protecting is yourself. Obfuscation merely allows you to convince yourself of the illusion that you’ve managed to reject someone without hurting their feelings one way or another.

Read the rest of the letter here.